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It's my day off! Woooo-Hoooo!
How frieking awesome is that?
Hubby's at work. Won't get home 'til at least 6 or 7 at night.
Princess & Monkey are off to school filling their gorgeous little brains with lots of useful, smart stuff that I must have learned years & years ago that I've already forgotten.
And me, I'm off of work today!!!!!!!!! And I get to stay
Home alone!!!
Oh yeah!
Uh-huh!
That's right!
Home alone!
No kids!
No hubby!
Just me!
Uh-huh!
Drinking coffee!
Reading blogs!
Uh-huh!
Lucky me!
Is that too much to ask for?
Come on, really!
Every.Single.Time. Yup, every single time I ask for 'extra big-mac sauce on the side' the drive-thru order taker seems confused for some reason. They always stay quiet for a while (while they ask their mgr if it's ok to do what this crazy person is asking for, I'm sure) and then say "ok, extra sauce on the side, drive up to the 1st window please"
Yes! they finally get it. It's a regular #1, WITH a side of extra sauce. Cool. Drive up to the 1st window, pay the sucker, eh cashier working there. (please, take no offense to this is you yourself, your dear children or someone you know works there. I did my share of "do you want fries with that?" It happens to the best of us, really!) I Drive up to the 2nd window, get my drink & bag of food, which SHOULD have the extra sauce in there. You know, the sauce I asked for at the beginning when I first placed my order. The same sauce the drive-thru order taker asked his mgr about. The same sauce he said yes to. Yup, THAT sauce. Well I look in my bag (I've learned to do this after many, many disappointments in which i realize I'm missing an order of fries, a sandwich, the napkins, ketchup, straws, etc. after I drive off & then I get home only to discover what I'm missing. Then of course, I don't want to get bk in the car, drive back, blah, blah blah blah blah) Anyways, focus. I look in the bag and guess what????
No.frieking.big-mac.sauce.on.the.side!!!!!!!!
Come on now, I ask you again, is that too much to ask for?
As the great procrastinator that I am, the Pilates dvd is STILL in its original wrapping. THAT really should surprise no one! (and I mean no one because no one's reading!!!) Ha! I made a funny!
No but really, I am the world's BEST procrastinator. (see how easy it is to look for the positive vs. the negative?)
I will not let the fact that the act of "procrastinating" is generally considered a relatively negative term.... Oh no! Let's look for the "positive". And the positive is = I am the world's BEST procrastinator.
The unwrapping of my pilates dvd will have to get in line along with all the other shit, eh stuff on my to do list. (actually i don't have a to-do list, that'd only mean 1 more thing to do. You know, like actually sitting down and writing it, and then SEEING all I really have to do. Oh shit no! That's scary. I started hyperventilating just imagining that) No! My "to do" list is in my head. Maybe that's the problem.... Poor thing must really feel lonely in there.
That time of year again folks... time to go shopping for bathing suits! Ooooooooh the horror!
Now if you EVER, ever, ever, ever, ever, eeeeeever want to torture me, just tell me I need a new bathing suit. Done. Finito. You are now on my enemy list.
However (and thank Goodness for my very own sanity) the shopping torture, eh spree... wasn't for me! Eeewh! I tortured myself about 2 months ago on that one! As much as I love to procrastinate about everything I possibly can, when it comes to bathing suits, I need as much of a head start as I can. Nothing, and I mean nothing (in terms of bathing suits where EVERYTHING is exposed, come on , it's like going around in your underwear for crying out loud. And I do almost cry out loud over bathing suits) is ever flattering on my skinny ass body as it is, and then having to choose from what's left over. I don't fucken think so. I CANNOT work like that. I need fresh new inventory. First dibs. On EVERYTHING. Even if it is only to prove that nothing fits just right.
hmmm, I think I have to change my strategy next time I grow out of my bathing suit, eh my bathing suit shrinks. I should probably just go shopping at the end of the season, that way I won't feel so bad that the leftovers don't fit, because of course they don't fit ANYBODY or else somebody would have already bought them. See, I'm not the problem, it's the suit. Think that'll work? Me neither, but it was worth a shot.
Oh, and once I was actually done with the torture of buying my suit ( of course, a tankini with a skirt over the bottom area. How lame!) I came home and modeled for my husband. Well guess what he said?
"That doesn't look like a bathing suit! It looks more like an outfit." says dear old hubby.
I could have killed him at this point.... but he was right.
Sooooo, the big ol' Mexican macho that he is, I proceded to lift up my skirt to show only the bottom (which is straight out underwear except in a different lycra material!) and then lifted the tankini top to make it a bra... come on people, that's what bathing suits really are, your underwear in material that's ok to get wet constantly, but yet has no support in the boob area at all!!! and makes your butt look flabby for some reason. Ok so I basically transformed my grandma outfit (although in very hip, cool colors I might add, not the grandma flower type but brown with polka dots, very cute) into a bikini. And I showed my hubby what a real suit should look like.
"Ok, so would you actually be ok with me walking around in a bikini like this, 'cause you know, it's just like if you're seeing me in my underwear?"
"Uh, well" (knowing very well he's put his foot in his mouth and can' t back out of this one) " well, yeah, I guess. if you want."
Woooooohooooooooo!!! So ok, I'm actually going to kick ass and work out big-time to fit my tiny ass into a bikini !!! First we gotta get rid of the small pouch, the small love handles, the cottage cheese & lift that tiny ass. Does anybody know of an excercise that'll lift the tiny tits as well? I need an excercise for that one! Lemme know, k?
So Pilates video, after about 6 months in my dvd stash without ever coming out, your packaging is finally coming off. I WILL get my ass into a bikini. I can't die without ever experiencing it, and now that I have the blessing from my hubby, I'm a go for it.
Kinda sad that I've never worn a bikini right? Let me explain.
I've been extremely skinny all my life, and when I was a teenager (before kids) I felt my stick legs & small tits wouldn't do a bikini justice, so I never went for it. Stupid kid! I should have when I had the opportunity.
Now, after kids. Well I already mentioned the small belly, the love handles, the cottage cheese & did I mention the drooping boobs????? Kind of sad when I'm not even 30 yet... So mark my words, i will fit my ass into a bikini. I will!Edited to add: Yes, Monkey & Princess did get their bathing suits. They had tons to choose from & they ALL fit perfectly. Go figure! Their problem was narrowing it down to one they liked the most. My problem, narrowing it down to the one I hate the least.
My head blew up the size of Texas just by overhearing a little girl's conversation with my oldest daughter Monkey...(yes, eavesdropping is my specialty, but shhh! don't tell my daughters) So imagine my surprise that while eavesdropping, that little girl uttered the most awesome, heart-warming phrase to my daughter. =D "Your mom's so cool!" Yes people, my job here has all been worthwhile! Who'd a thunk?
Me, a mom, is cool! C-O-O-L! Like, omg!
I knew this would happen in our very near future. That one day, not too far, far away, and as a result of having had my first child when I was only 18 (a baby myself) it would mean that I would not be the typical looking mom that looks like the grandma... Oh no! Not I! I refuse to let that be me, especially now. Now that I've been proclaimed with a very special title. I'm the COOL mom! Now I have a reputation to keep. ;D
I've always known that I'm the type of mom that most kids think is the older sister rather than the actual mom...(how cool is that?) My daughter just loves to roll her eyes at that one, hehe. "Mom, can you believe so&so thought you were my sister? And they think I'm joking when I tell them you're my mom!" Ha! I love that! I always have, but now it's gotten better. Not only do I get to hear this from my lovely daughter, but now others think of me as COOL! Little tweenage girls, who are so hard to please, think little ol' me is COOL!!! (doing the happy dance) I know. I know. I've been gloating, and bragging, & gloating & bragging & all.... but there, it's all out of my system......... but I'm still pretty stoaked, hehe!
And now that I have basked in all my glory, this 'cool mom' has to get off this 'puter to do some very, very cool things... Here's my list of cool things to be done today: Laundry, sweep & mop, vacuum, dust, make beds, clean bathroom & pay bills. There kiddos, still think I'm cool???
This "Cool Mom" is signing off!
Ok, so it's been a while since I've been here... Geez, that's an understatement. Halloween-time to be more exact.
HALLOWEEN!!! That's when I was last on here! Geez Louise.
Well Thanksgiving came & went ( on which I actually cooked my entire 1st meal EVER, with company & the whole 9) Then came Christmas , New Years, Princess' 7th Birthday, opening my big mouth & volunteering/becoming a Girl Scout Troop Leader, Valentine's Day, Anniversay.... such great blog material & what do I do. NOTHING! How pathetic. What a Loser with a capital L.
But the great thing is I *have* been doing my homework to get back on track here ( reading other blogs like crazy!!! ) I just LOVE the blog phenomenon. I.am.addicted. The more interesting reads I find, the more I tag, therefor the more I HAVE to check everyday to read. How nosy am I??? It's just like reality tv for me. You get a glimpse into somebody else's life, and then you're stuck. You just can't get enough and you keep on coming back for more. So yes, I'm ADDICTED to reading blogs. At least it's a safe addiction now isn't it? But when I check some of my fave's & there's nothing new, AAAAAHHHHHH!!! Please people , entertain me! It's been 2 days & you've written nothing new!!! Please help my addiction here... after all, you created it! With that being said, that's why I heart Ashley, from http://ashleyscloset.blogspot.com/ Talk about a crazy chick, with interesting reads. And she supports my addiction. Not only does she blog EVERY day, on most days she does it more than once!!! Yes, I get more than just a daily fix. My hero! i heart you ashley!!!
And just to get things straight, as much as i heart her blog & lots of others out there, NO I will not copy her or any other of my fave's writings. I respect them all, along with their work. Their material & their crazyness is ALL theirs for the keeping. They've just inspired me to follow in their footsteps & share a bit of my life here with you all... as boring as it may be. But I'll try to keep it interesting, & hopefully 1 day, somebody will be addicted to me!!! HA! Now that was a funny!
Halloween !!! What a great day, isn't it???
We all get to empty out our wallets to buy these super expensive costumes that our kids will get to wear for 1 day only or maybe 2 if you go to a weekend activity or party or something. Actually, maybe even more days if you count when they play dress up during the year, and then they actually might pass the costume along to their younger siblings or cousins the next year... Hey, I think I just corrected myself. Maybe we do get our $$$$'s worth... Well anyways, then our kids get to make out on their costume by getting paid back with CANDY. (Unlucky for us parents, the kids will be jumping off the walls on the sugar high, and don't even get me started on the dentist's bill ) But seeing their cute little faces when they transform into somebody else, that is priceless. I do love getting to see all the kiddos dressed up, pretending to be something they're not. Princesses, witches, fairies, vampires, firemen, spiderman, cartoon characters, ghosts and a whole bunch more. I loved it when I was a kid and now I love seeing my girls get all dressed up & transforming into something totally different. In fact, when I dropped the girls off at school in the morning, I actually stayed in the car just waiting for other kids to show up, just so I could see their costumes. I swear, I was probably more excited than the kids!
Well, as for my girls, my youngest babe (6) was Princess Jasmine, but it looked more like a jeanie's costume, which she was totally ok with because it showed her belly. Which is great here in the South, they actually get to show off their costume, 'cause in Cali they had to wear a warm costume and then most likely put a sweater over, therefor defeating the purpose. Anyways, the Princess Jasmine wasn't my babe's costume by choice, but only because it was one of the only one available in her size at the Disney Store on Halloween Day. Yes, that's right, on the actual 31st of October. Jeez, I'm all about procrastinating, 'cuz I AM the Queen of procrastination. ( I actually work better under pressure, with deadlines to meet compared to when I can take my sweet time) but my baby beat me on this one... Well, the reason she waited to the last minute is a long story.... (to put it simply, I wanted to be a Martha Stewart, perfect momma sort of type which believe me did NOT work. I actually made her a Minnie Mouse costume with my own 2 hands, which is what she wanted to be. Well, the night before Halloween she started to cry because she didn't want to hurt my feelings, but she just had to tell me that the the costume I made is "WEIRD"!!! Ok, let's see. My daughter just told me that the costume I made for her out of a labor of love, the one that I went out and bought a $180 sewing machine to be able to make. spent entire afternoons putting together... and then was told, AFTER all that work was done, that the costume was weird. NO, that didn't hurt my feelings, not one bit. And in my defense, I think I did a pretty good job, but of course my daughter didn't. Of course, now I'm going to take sewing lessons, and gonna be soooooooo good by this time next year that she'll be begging me to make her a costume vs. the store bought one's, but I'm gonna tell her NO!!!!!!! I only make WEIRD costumes, and apparently, that's not your style!!!
Ok, on with the show. My oldest daughter (9) was of course, who else??? Hannah Montana. No more girly princesses for her. Nooooo. She's too old for that. So we got her the wig at Dillard's which was the actual Hannah wig. It was pretty cool, with layered hair & highlights. My babe was super ecstatic to be blonde for a day, lol. She was all dabbed out with fake eyelashes, make-up, funky dress & everything. Pretty cool!!! As for me, I was my daughter's worst nightmare! Back in Southern California, many parents dress up along with their kids to take them trick-or-treating... Granted, we're not in our sweet old Cali anymore, and apparently that's not the case here. So I thought it'd be fun to dress up too. I had a grandma nightgown in my closet (that I bought for my mother in law, aww, how nice huh? Ain't I a sweet daughter in law??? ) So I put the grandma robe on, which is at least 3-4 sized too big for me, put a pillow on my butt, baby powder on my hair to get my grey hair thing going, & borrowed my neice's glasses and put them on the tip of my nose. Talk about being embarrassed by mom!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Turns out, I now have a secret weapon against my kids. From now on they'll be blackmailed by me: "If you don't behave, I'll dress up for halloween again, and next time it'll be worse." Although it might only work the weeks prior to Halloween. Hmmm.
