Who does she think she is giving me MORE work to add to my ever increasing, yet never decreasing to-do list ? Who I ask? Well, a wonderfully funny person, that's who. One that is so nice & is willing to share the *luv* with us that not only is she giving us ideas of what to write, but she's letting us link from her site to ours, meaning that more than 1 person will likely be visiting. WoooooHooooo! That's exciting! So on to my assignment.
How is life different for your children than when you were growing up?
As a child myself, my mother never lied to me.
She believed in not lying to us EVER!
What she really meant was that she would not lie to us about Santa Claus.
She always clearly and distinctively told us he didn't exist.
She never lied about the Easter Bunny.
Again, doesn't exist.
She never lied about the Tooth Fairy either.
She made it very clear that we understood that she herself would give us money for our teeth, since other parents just put it under their kid's pillows anyways, pretending to be the tooth fairy because again, the tooth fairy doesn't exist.
I was a sad little kid that was taught that Santa never existed.
I was a sad little kid that was not taught how to believe.
The presents I received at Christmas were given to me by my mother, not by Santa.
She made sure we understood that.
The Santa that went to our school every year and gave us a present was not the real santa like I so wanted to believe.
He was just Mrs. So&So's husband dressed up in a Santa Suit.
She made sure we understood that.
Why Oh Why would she do that?
Why would she not just let us believe?
I love my mother to death, but what a way to crush a kid's heart. She didn't know that unknowingly she raised and taught us not to believe. Not to imagine. Not to hope.
But don't go hating on my mother thinking of her as a cruel woman. She was not a bad mother at all. On the contrary, she's a great mom and was only trying to protect us. The reasoning behind her truthfulness is this. She grew up in a family of 12 brothers and sisters. As you may well imagine, having so many kids to feed and clothe, my grandparents didn't have much money.... Yes, they always provided the basics but couldn't afford much more. Well, my mother had girl cousins whose family was better off than her own. So when she was a child, she couldn't understand why Santa would always give her cousins such beautiful dolls and toys, while he only left her pieces of candy or cookies.
Year after year the story repeated itself. When she questioned my grandma, she would tell her this story about how Santa would start his route over by her cousin's house, and unfortunatley by the time he got over to their house he'd ran out of the good toys. Well, my mom's heart was broken year after year. Even though her mother tried explaining the situation, she couldn't understand why he couldn't change his route and start at her house so she could get a doll just like she'd ask him to in her letters to him.
It never happened.
And her heart was crushed.
Santa never did give her the doll she always wanted. Then she grew up & was told the truth that there was no Santa Claus, and she realized how year after year she'd been disappointed and her heart was broken, and she swore that whenever she had children she would never lie to them about Santa. Her children would not know the heartbreak of wanting and not receiving the toy her cousins or friends received from Santa. Her children would not question themselves on why Santa didn't like them, or liked their cousins more. Her children would know that the gift they received, be it a toy or a candy, was from their mother, because that was what their mother could afford, and not from Santa. Because Santa didn't exist, and she made that very clear to us. Her children would know that the gift they receive is what their mother could afford to give then, and not what Santa thought they deserve.
So when I had children, what was I to do? Grandma lied to mother telling her Santa was real, only to crush her spirit when she never got the toys she asked for.Mother never lied, telling us Santa was not real, only to crush our spirit by not allowing us to believe.
Well guess what I decided to do as a mother ? To lie of course.... Yes, little white lies.
This mother does have her children believe in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. The Easter Bunny not so much, 'cause I never understood that one! But what a cruel little world where kids don't believe in Santa. What a cruel little world where kids don't believe in the tooth fairy. That's the world in which I lived. And that is the world that I chose not to let my daughters live in.
Plus, it's great to be able to say " Santa's watching. If you want a nice gift then you better behave!" which they do! Because they believe............